Everything Michael did had purpose. She thought of her own life and how meaningless and miserable it had been before him. Her very reason to be alive depended on him. And Michael depended on the earth, the rain, the warmth of the sun. And his God. Especially his God.
I'd be dead by now if Michael hadn't come back for me. I'd be rotting in a shallow, unmarked grave.
She was consumed with gratitude and filled with an aching humility that this man loved. Why of all the other women of the world, had he chosen her? She was so undeserving. It was inconceivable.
But I am glad, so glad he did. And I'll never again do anything to make him sorry. Oh, God I swear...
A sweet fragrance filled the darkened cabin, a fragrance that defied definition. She filled her lungs with it, so heady and wonderful. What was it? Where did it come from? Her mind whirled with words and phrases Michael had read to her over the past weeks and even before that, words she thought she had never heard but had somehow found their way into the deepest part of her, somewhere inside, a place she'd been unable to close off.
And then a still, quiet voice filled the room.
I am.
Angel sat up abruptly, eyes wide open. She looked around the cabin, but there was no one there other than Michael, who lay sleeping deeply beside her. Who had spoken? She felt fear sweep through her, and then she trembled with it. Then it was gone, washed away, and she was calm again, her skin tingling strangely.
"There is nothing," she whispered."Nothing." she waited an answer, not moving.
But no answer came. No voice filled the stillness.Angel lay down slowly and curled as tightly against Michael as she could.-------------------------
This is an excerpt from Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. This book is something I have put off reading for quite a while now, mostly because of the content, I wasn't sure I could handle it yet. The reason being the story is about a harlot, its theme derived from the book Hosea in the bible. If are you are familiar with Hosea, then you know it is about a prophet who married a harlot to bear witness God's love for His own people, the people of Israel. This harlot left Hosea again and again to return to her wicked ways from before. So as you can imagine how the a story like this can be difficult to read. Francine Rivers has transposed this prophetic tale into the 1800's of northwest America, during the a California goldrush. She takes the story into extreme depth. It was a breathtaking, hearting rendering portrayal.
God had an appointed time, and this last week was my time to read it. It was amazing! In the beginning this harlot, who goes simply by the name Angel (though she is known to her husband by many names...Amanda, Tirzah, Mara), cannot except the unconditional love of the man that God sends to marry her and save her from her terrible life. She doesn't believe he can love her, and then when convinces her, she doesn't feel worthy enough, so runs back to her life as harlot. He brings her back, forgives and continues pursuing her heart. Soon she learns to love him herself, but scared of being vulnerable, she runs away again, not to her life before, but never the less away from him. He searches till he finds her again and brings her home. Still unable to feel worthy, she leaves him a third time. He does not go after her, realizing she must first find her worth in God now, instead of him. And she does...in a harlot house, she finds herself forced into, when she is kidnapped. She finds God, and saves not only herself but many others. Then she returns finally to her husband, fully complete.
The entire book just slammed home into my face the unrelenting love of God for his bride. Angel discovers God was reaching through her husband, Michael Hosea, to show her this steadfast, forgiving devotion. She loses everything to discover this...and then gains everything.
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When she looked up, she saw Michael standing in a field. The soft wind made the wheat look like a golden sea around him. The air was sweet and clean.
"Amanda!" he called out, running toward her.
"No, Michael, go back! Don't come near me!" She knew if he touched her, the foulness covering her would cover him as well. "Stay away! Stay back!"
But he would not listen. He came ahead.
She was too weak to run away. She looked down at herself and saw her flesh decaying and dropping away. Michael walked toward her without hesitation. He was so close, she could see his eyes. Oh..."God, let me die. Let me die for him."
No, came a soft voice.
She looked up and saw Michael standing before her. A small flame burned where his heart was. No, beloved. His mouth hadn't moved, and the voice was not his. The flame grew larger and brighter, spreading until his entire body was radiant with it. Then the light separated Michael and came the last few feet toward her. It was a man, glorious and magnificent, light streaming from him in all directions.
"Who are you?" she whispered, terrified."Who are you?"
Yahweh, El Shaddai, Jehovah-mekoddishkem, El Elyon, El Olam, Elohim...
The names kept coming, moving together like music, rushing through her blood, filling her. She trembled in fear and could not move. He reached out and touched her, and she felt warmth encompassing her and the fear dissolving away. She looked down at herself and found she was clean and clothed in white."Then I am dead."
"That you may live."
Blinking she looked up again and saw the man of light covered with her filth. "No!" she wept. "Oh, God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I"ll take it back. I'll do anything..." Yet even as she reached out, the defilement disappeared and he stood before her perfect again.
"I am the way, Sarah. Follow me."
As she stepped forward and reached out to him, there was a thunder clap, and Angel awakened in darkness.-------------------
Then when Sarah (her real name) returns to Michael for the final time it is so beautiful...mirror image of what she experienced with God)
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...She knew then that she had doubted he would forgive her, but he already had. She could live with him forever and not know his depths.
Oh, Lord thank you, thank you! She went into his arms, spreading her hands on his strong back, pressing herself as close as she could, her gratitude so strong she could hardly bear it. He was warmth and light and life. She wanted to be flesh of his flesh, blood of his blood. Forever. Closing her eyes, she inhaled the sweet scent of him and felt she was finally home.
She thought she had been saved by his love for her, and in party she had been. It had cleansed her, never casting blame. But that had been only the beginning. It was loving him in return that had brought her up out of the darkness.
What can I give him more than that? I would give him anything.
"Amanda," Michael said, holding her tenderly," Tirzah..."
Sarah, came the still, soft voice, and she knew the one gift she had to offer. Herself. Angel drew back from Michael and looked up at him. "Sarah, Michael. My name is Sarah. I don't know the rest of it. Only that much. Sarah."
Michael blinked. His whole body flooded with joy. The name fit her so well. A wanderer in a foreign lands, a barren woman filled with doubt. Yet Sarah of old had become a symbol of trust in God and ultimately the mother of a nation. Sarah. A benediction. Sarah. A barren woman who conceived a son. His beautiful cherished wife who would someday give him a child.
It's a promise, Lord, isn't it? Michael felt warmth and assurance of if enter every cell of his body.
He held out his hand. "Hello, Sarah." She looked endearingly confused as she placed her hand in his. He shook it and grinned down at her," I'm very pleased to meet you. Finally."
She laughed," You are such a crazy, crazy man, Michael."
Michale laughed with her and pulled her into his arm to kiss her. He felt her arm around him as she kissed him back. She was home for good this time. Not even death would part them.
When they drew breath, Michael swung her around and lifted her above him joyously. She threw back her head and spread her arms wide to embrace the sky, tears of celebration streaming down her cheeks.
Michael had once read to her how God had cast a man and woman out of Paradise. Yet, for all their human faults and failures, God had shown them a way back in.
Love the Lord your God, and love one another. Love one another as he loves. Love with strength and purpose and passion and no matter what comes against you. Don't weaken. Stand against darkness, and love. That's the way back into Eden. That's the way to life.
You won't relent until You have it all. My heart yours.
I'll set you as a seal upon My heart, as a seal up on My heart. For there is love that is as strong as love, jealously demanding as the grave. Many waters cannot quench this love.
Come be the fire inside of me, come be the flame upon my heart. Come be the fire inside of me, until You and I are one.
...here it's You and me alone, God. You and me alone.
