Mountains, Cali shores and Jerusalem lights...

My summer has been magical. How about yours? I need to pinch myself sometimes to really believe that what has happened to me this summer is real. It all seems like it should have happened to another girl, in another place, in another time.  I've travelled from the east to west coasts of American and spent to weeks in the middle east. I've stood on the peaks of mountains, swam in the oceans and walked the streets of ancient cities.

What is happening to me? Why is God so good, so gracious and so loving. This summer has screamed His generous heart over me more than another moment of time in my 22 years of existence.

So here is the best of California...

Grand Canyon Love

Sisters Forever

Look to horizon!

Long Beach Day

Walking on the sand

Blustery evening

 Summer?

 Santa Barbara...pier

West Coast Sunset!

My Beloved

Redwood

Golden Gate

 Pacific Ocean, San Francisco Bay

John and Mindy's Wedding

Jerusalem joy

 YES!

 Jaffa Gate!

And it has only begun. In 9 months I will be Mrs. Dosa!

Israel Entry One

We've been at camp since Sunday now. Three days. It is crazy how fast time is already flying. We are in Israel! The homeland of Jesus. Here at the camp though it feels like we are in Texas. Hot and dry. The camp is circled around a baseball field. Supposedly one of only three in all of Israel.

But when you know you are not in Texas when everyone around you is speaking a different language, when palm trees and vibrant bushes are in every patch of foliage and when the distant skyline of Tel Aviv is to the west. Electric trains go by ever hour. They are silent and short.

Today is our first full day of camp. It is going to be a long hot day of silly games, baseball, Popsicles and swimming. The children are the most beautiful little people I have ever seen. Most don't know english, but will talk to you anyway in their own beautiful Hebrew. Ever time I hear the language I can feel almost power in it. This is the language of God's chosen people!

We have a meeting right now to prepare for the day. So I should go. No one is ever on time here. They don't seem to need it, yet everything gets done. Incredible.

Later...

Almost there...

Three more days and I will be in the air for Israel! The summer has flown by much faster than I anticipated. All of my packing is nearly finished. I've been to Cape Hatteras and California and back, the Israel trip is paid for, travel insurance is paid for, my bags packed, (nearly) all last minute things have been bought or borrowed, and now I am finishing up my last few days of work.

I'm excited but nervous, I've never been out of the United States until now. I'm praying for the Lord to continue revealing his heart for me about his chosen people. I look forward to meeting the children the first wee and all the traveling we will be doing the second week. Jerusalem will be amazing!

It's almost here...

Homesick

“If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy,

the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world” - C.S. Lewis

It is the lonely sinking in your gut that gets you first. Like a deep aching hole that falls straight to your toes. Nothing you feel, taste, see, hear or touch can make it full. The emptiness reverberates within your soul like a time bomb, threatening you, mocking you, pushing you...to the limits of your control. Your longings erupt, but their valiant efforts always fall just short of satisfaction. Then you begin the searching again, hoping against hope to take away the hole, only to find it is always growing bigger.

Your questions scream for help, and the answers your find are never complete. What is it you long for?

The confessions of my heart are false to the desires that truly lie within. It is not just the brilliant sunrises, a lover's sweet kisses, music's passionate release or the thrill of accomplishment. These open up the doors to a place I have not even set a toenail upon. Yet I feel it in these moments and the anguish is less than bearable.

Then the fantasies come. The foolish fantasies that the mind and reason condemn, while yet the heart grabs hold of with tenacious hope. Fantasies of another world. A place where nothing is impossible. Am I a fool to even speak these childish words? Some would say yes, without a moment's hesitation.

I watched the sunset tonight and knew. I knew the how and I knew why. I knew where it all came from...I knew where I came from. This is the big secret.

I am, we all are, from another world. We are displaced aliens, wondering a foreign land. Our memories are erased, our hearts have forgotten, only our spirits yearn and remember what once was. Our dreams struggle to touch our minds with the truth.

Like a virulent disease it begins to spread through our consciousness, one cell at a time. Until we are utterly shaking in the throes of its violence. We are people sick because of something that is far to good than we can imagine. We are homesick. Longing to go to the place from where we were created, from where we were born.

Home. Heaven. Jesus.

It makes perfect sense that I am groaning in anguish, that I'm consistently heart broken, that I am weary, tired and growing older every day.

Creation is waiting in the darkness of night, writhing as though in labor, waiting for the morning to come with it's fulfillment and hope.

When will we go home? When will all this madness end? The way has been made, how much longer before the door opens? How much more before life is as it should be?

Will not those who have forgotten, remember? Will we not ALL long for the same thing and hasten it's return? We must all groan in anguish before the end for our joy to be complete. Hasten, hasten, the awaking of grief and desire and what we seek will be restored!

And yet, today I slowly burn with longing. I feel, but cannot touch, taste, but cannot eat, hear but cannot sing, see but cannot move. I must wage war until it is time, I must endure until the end. I must walk in faith and in peace.

The Sword

The cliff walls rose steep and severe towards a bleak and colorless sky. A narrow, lifeless path curved a jagged opening between the cliffs. The rocks jutting from the cliffs pointed like threatening knives towards the earth. Dust swirled upward as gusts of wind blew through the path. It was a cold, clean wind blowing from the opening at the far end of the cliffs.

A thin trembling figure appeared at this opening. It was a young woman who was slowly placing one foot in front of another. Her clothing was new and washed. Her hair long and clean. Her sword bright and sharp. She was untouched by battle, yet deep, desperate knowledge glowed in her bright eyes. The questions in her mind were spinning.

Why was she here? What could she possibly do? Was this really her fight? Who had fallen to this trap? Not her. Surely there were bigger more vital battles to fight?

The voice of her father, however, rang in her ears, louder and clearer, the more her doubts assailed her. GO AND BRING MY PEOPLE BACK TO ME.

She could not turn around and leave now. Her fist clenched around the hilt of her sword. The leather dug into her palm. She closed her eyes. The dangers were real, the fear however was not true. There could be no fear when she held her sword. She was one against a hundred, but she had been given more strength than a thousand.

Her feet began moving forward, firm and defiant. Her enemies would not keep their victory today. Their temporary glory would fall to shame at their feet. She steeled her countenance, preparing herself for the sight she would see. Death was waiting on the path ahead.

The path turned as the cold wind propelled her feet forward. With it came a new smell. A stench, overwhelming and strong. The stench of a hundred dead bodies heaped against the sides of the path. Their mangled, bloody limbs were bent and twisted at odd angles. Faces blank and lifeless. Deep and gaping wounds glared angrily towards the sky.

The young woman caught her breath and one hand involuntarily covered her mouth. She had seen death before, but not to this magnitude. Doubt reared its ugly claws and clutched her heart in an iron grip. She knew what she had to do, but what if it didn't work? They were all already dead.

There was no but her enemies to see. They were invisible but she knew they were in the rocks hiding, waiting with baited, poisenous breath. What if she looked like a weak and powerless fool in their eyes?

Her sword began vibrating and then heat shot from its hilt to its tip. The physical reminder of the power she held brought tears to her eyes. This was going to be painful.

Sobbing, she began walking and reached the first pile of dead. Realization hit her chest like an avalanche. It nearly knocked her to her knees with its weight. These dead would never know freedom unless she moved in the power given to her. They would never know real life, real truth and unshakable faith unless she reached out to touch them.

She slowly raised her sword over the first body. Flames of heat began flickering off its shiny surface. How her hands could hold the sword without being burned she did not know.

Crying out the name of her father she brought the sword down into the center of the corpse's heart. Her gut lurched in agony as the dead one's anguish swept through her body. Her sword began trembling violently as the body broke into convulsions.

She withdrew the sword and the body, a man's, let out a shuddering gasp. Skin, bones, blood and sinews rippled back into place across his body. Both eyes popped open and he sat up with a deep gasp,

The young woman backed up, speechless. It worked! He smiled, reached for his sword and jumped to his feet," What are you waiting for?"

Still unable to speak she stared. She wasn't a fool!

" The others..." he turned, plunging his sword into the body that had been lying next to him, motioning her forward.

Strengthened and empowered the young woman leaped forward, sword still hot.

The truth had brought life. She murmured her father's name in gratitude and thankfulness. She was no longer alone. An army was rising at her feet.

Easter. Life. Sunsets

Returning home after weeks and weeks of back to back school, work and church activities, makes you appreciate the boredom and slowness of home. I was home for only two days, and I felt as if I stepped into paradise.

The weather was perfect, my mom's remodeled house was beautiful, and my boyfriend surprising me on saturday morning with his appearance was perfect. All eight of my cousins and siblings were there, and my uncle, two aunts and grandparents. It was a beautiful day.

And me and Phil went for a walk...