A Journal: Emotion...can't live with it, can't live without it.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Emotion...can't live with it, can't live without it.

I'm in a painful growing process at the moment, which is both beautiful and ugly all at once. It is like a knife is digging down deep and pulling out all this stuff I never realized was buried inside me, only what is coming out is delightful, only the whole cutting out journey is the hard part. I was frightened of it before, but now I suddenly find myself strangely fascinated with the entire adventure and even danger of it all. After all our God is a dangerous God, He is a consuming fire, every drawing us into the blaze of His refinement. Why? Because He wants us, He wants us pure....He wants us holy...He wants to want Him. And in that wanting comes deep emotions, not just emotions inside the heart, but outwards emotions, expressing that love. Many times we feel we cannot express outwardly because it is just too deep, but other times we feel if we do not do something we will just simply explode from the passionate feelings deep within.

I have experienced an incredible fountain in last month, and my emotions will not stay silent any longer. They are coming out slowly, in gentle waves, but with obvious intention. Freedom has grabbed a hold of my being, a Great love is propelling my feet forward even if I do not stretch them out to walk. I have no choice. Beauty is dragging me forward...I will not stop it, for if I do I would lose everything. ~

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"... for love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams. Love in dreams is greedy for immediate action, rapidly performed and in the sight of all. Men will even give their lives if only the ordeal does not last long but is soon over, with all looking on and applauding as though on the stage. But active love is labor and fortitude, and for some people too, perhaps, a complete science. But I predict that just when you see with horror that in spite of all you efforts you are getting further away from your goal instead of nearer it – at that very moment I predict that you will reach it and behold clearly the miraculous power of the Lord who has been all the time loving and mysteriously guiding you." (Fyodor Dostoyevesky)

" Today is not the time for the people of God to live for comfort. It’s not the time to look for a hiding place or an escape route. The only hiding place is in Jesus; the only “escape” is into the arms of God, seeking His face and resolved to do His will. There is no other safe place. Many Christian in America today simply seek to avoid pain or inconvenience at all costs. Regardless of what the future holds, no matter who is right or wrong concerning the details of Christ’s return, one thing is clear: In the days ahead it is going to be harder to live for God than to die for Him. True martyrdom comes in living each day in faithful obedience to the Lord no matter what, saying no to sin and compromise and yes to God and holiness. This is not the time for silence. The hour has come for God’s people to take a stand, to sacrifice themselves, like Esther, in fasting and prayer for the deliverance of a nation. Who knows but that God may turn the tide of history in America." ~ Elijah Revolution (lou engle)~

"And You sit at the table with wounded and the poor. You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore. And when You could just be silenced and leave us here to die. Still You sent your son for us. You are on our side." (Bethany Dillon)

"Suffering is an oxymoron. There is unfathomable peace and satisfaction in suffering for Christ. It is as though you have searched endlessly for your purpose in life, and now found it in the most unexpected place: in the death of your flesh. It is certainly a moment worthy of laughter and dance. And in the end it is not suffering at all. The apostle Paul recommended that we find joy in it. Was he mad?” (Ted Dekker)

"The highest good is “that which will leave us nothing further to seek in order to be happy, if only we make all our actions refer to it, and seek it not for the sake of something else, but for its own sake." (St. Augustine)

"A healed heart is more spectacular than a straightened hand.” (Blessed Child)

"A life of integrity is born of fidelity to the dream." (Brennan Manning)

"A beggar's kingdom is better than a proud man's delusion." (Donald Miller)

"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you are fast asleep." (Cinderella)

"The secrets of heaven are not hidden from you, they are hidden for you." (Bill Johnson)

God risked Himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us." (Donald Miller)

"All around you people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip, or dance, just don't tiptoe." (Irresistible Revolution)

"If we work upon marble, it will perish; if we work upon brass, time will efface it; if we rear temples, they will crumble into dust; but if we work upon immortal minds, if we imbue them with principles, with the just fear of God and love of our fellow men, we engrave on those tablets something which will brighten to all eternity."
-Daniel Webster-