...I seek the One my soul loves.

I've always loved the Song of Songs, but this week I began reading differently and with more purpose than I ever had before. I sought to see it directly as God speaking to me, and me to Him. Before I saw it only as the bride of Christ speaking to Jesus, the groom, but I have now put myself in that place as the "bride"...the shepherd girl...
...words cannot describe where God is taking me now. I've been reading chapters 1-3 at the moment, over and over again.

Me to God: Your oils are a pleasing fragrance, Your name is like purified oil; therefore draw me after you and let us run together!

God to me: How beautiful you are my darling. how beautiful your are! Your eyes are like doves.

Me to God: Like an apple among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I take great delight and sit down....and his fruit is sweet to my taste.

God to Me: O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the secret place of the steep pathway, let me see your form, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet and your form is lovely.

Me to God: On my bed night after night I sought him whom my soul loves; I sought him but did not find him. I must arise now and god about the city; in the streets and in the squares I must seek him whom my soul loves. I sought him but did not find him.

...why? I love this ending verse."I sought him but did not find him." Why does God hide himself? He hides himself so that I will seek him, because if he was always present, always giving attention to my need I would take his love for granted. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
He draws away, so I will draw towards him, which is the greatest of delights, both in my "seeking" and in his "being sought after." I want this go down into my deepest pores, into my gut, until I weep with undying devotion and desperation for his presence.

"....when I found him whom my soul loves; I held on to him and would not let him go."