Film

Its not hard to see why so many people find life in front of a TV so easy. It makes you forget real life for a while, with all its pain, struggle and heartache. Instead you watch other people's pain, struggle and heartache and then rejoice that it isn't you. I've found myself watching too many movies and TV shows this summer. So I keep asking myself. Why this fascination with a story? This addiction to drama? This obsession with the lives of other people, both their joys and their sorrows, their adventures and their losses?

What is the secret to a story as its plays itself out on the flat screen TV in your living room? (I personally don't own one, I just use my laptop) I wonder this question over and over again as we watch millions of people flood the theater's on opening nights; as we watch billions of dollars being poured into the film-making industry. I'm not against it, but neither can say that I am for it. You can't just say that those stories that flicker across your television screen are all entertainment and nothing else. If it was simply that I'm not sure that it would be such a big deal. No it's something much deeper, even as it numbs you to reality, it also awakens you to something you can't quite put your finger on and every time you the credits scroll you feel it drop away just out of reach and you are left with that burning desire to see the next sequel or the next episode, anything to feel it again.

And so it happens over and over again. More movies are filmed, by tickets bought and more shelves built for their showcase DVDS. Why?

Memories

I was in Hawaii less than a month ago. Sitting on a beach with a book in my hands, sun tanning my skin and sand creeping its way inside my bathing suit. I was staring out into rolling blue waves, watching my husband of only a few days riding the wakes with his surf board. Kauai's impressive mountain range pushed its way to the clouds behind me, where four-hundred foot waterfalls tumbled down to the island's valley floor.

I'm pretty sure every thing is several tones brighter in Hawaii. Also the rain is clearer and fruit is three times as big. When I took  my first step off the plane in Honolulu I swear the air tasted like sugar. Maybe not the most accurate description, but it was what I felt, plus the breeze blowing in from the ocean was like heaven.

People can say I was on my honeymoon and perhaps every thing was romanticized, but I'm pretty darn sure that was the way it was. In any case, now that I'm back in Texas, and the weather is sizzling hot and the air dry and your sweat tastes like vinegar salt I can't help remembering Hawaii. The only way of enjoying a good book here is in the cool, air conditioned atmosphere of your own home or sitting on your computer near an electrical outlet.

Like today I'm inside, with the curtains drawn and cool cup of sweet tea in my hands. A cool, deep, blue ocean of water would be real nice right now.

You can feeling the yearning.
You can taste.
Hear it.
Almost touch it.
It follows you around, on the hem of your jeans, hanging there silent and heavy. It pulls with uninhibited inconsideration at what you are doing, jerks at you with dogmatic precision and whispers with gentle caresses. It never leaves, but neither does stay close enough for you to hold and real enough for you see. It dances just out of reach, teasing, laughing and winking and then falls back in step just behind, dust in its wake and fire in its eyes.

If you look back it will slide to the left and if you look to the left it will slide to the right, but it always pushes you forward, pleading for a chance to show you it's dreams. One by one they flash in before your eyes, leaving you breathless and aching. And when it touches your belly with that finger of desire you flail and writhe, begging for mercy and but asking for more. You cover your ears, but your heart is unguarded, then you close your eyes, but your feet keep moving. There is no power to stop it on earth or in heaven.

And so you walk and then you run, but the yearning remains, holding your hands and kissing your feet. The strength of its will and the fury of its devotion sweep you off your feet and you fall panting in the dirt.

It really does not have a name, but the only one I can come up with today is this: Heaven is out there, reminding me I belong there and not here and it will never let up until I am home.

Poems

I wrote several poems in poetry workshop class last semester. Here are a few samples. Mostly about Israel...

Masada

The air over the Dead Sea
shimmers and pulsates
like a force wall
from a sci-fi movie
I squint outwards
into the heat
It bounces off the
canyon walls of En Gedi
and distant shores of Jordan

I am standing on an ancient
fortress rising from
the baking dust of the 
arid desert gently sloping
above the acidic waters

Moans of the dying
and screams of the anguished
echo up from the
valleys of history
I can see the vultures
as they circle in lazy
lurid loops above a dying
sunset

Blood lies in pools
and runs in rivulets
from every abode
They had no other choice
we are told
Women and children first
Slain by the men's swords
then these slew each other
until only one remained
taking the curse upon himself
He fell on his own blade
The Romans were defeated
before they even breached the gates

I stand on the edge
staring at the crumbling walls
and fallen bricks
letting the sun
beat on my
bare head
I wonder if I would
have done the same
to escape slavery
and living death

The hot air rises
from the Dead Sea
fans my dripping face
and I taste
salt

On the Shores of Galilee

I walk down the shore

on a dirt path

away from my hotel

as cars belch fumes

on nearby roads

and bikini clad

swimmers soak themselves

in the nearby swimming pool 

surrounded by perfectly

manicured green lawns

He walked here

his bare toes upon

the pebble strewn shore

so small

this three mile

half moon of land

around the Galilean Sea

Bethany, Capernaum, Tiberius

All within my naked eye

He sweated

on wooden boats

as he fished

and under the midday sun

he burned

My own feet stand on a dock staring out

onto the water he quieted

and the cities he lived in

They feel so gritty, so dirty and so loud

as techno-pop music ripples

across the water

where gaudy lights glow

Over the concert’s steady beat

a starry-eyed couple is kissing

in the dark

I can hear their quickened breath

I am standing where he walked

dirt in his fingernails

where a woman washed his feet

with her hair

Only a few minutes’ walk

from here

He danced at weddings

drank wine

and laughed with the men

I feel the weight of the night sky

he once gazed at

pressing in with the reality

of his humanity

and the unity of this

with my own desperate

longings

I think of how

I sailed in a wooden boat

a few hours ago

on this sea

no storm

and no oily fishermen

just jet skis

following our waves

and the hum of our modern engines

as droplets of water

sprayed my sunburn cheeks

He walked on this water

he was here

just as I am now

I close my eyes

and breathe

wondering what

he would have smelled like

and I hear the water

lap against the rocky

shores

Mountains, Cali shores and Jerusalem lights...

My summer has been magical. How about yours? I need to pinch myself sometimes to really believe that what has happened to me this summer is real. It all seems like it should have happened to another girl, in another place, in another time.  I've travelled from the east to west coasts of American and spent to weeks in the middle east. I've stood on the peaks of mountains, swam in the oceans and walked the streets of ancient cities.

What is happening to me? Why is God so good, so gracious and so loving. This summer has screamed His generous heart over me more than another moment of time in my 22 years of existence.

So here is the best of California...

Grand Canyon Love

Sisters Forever

Look to horizon!

Long Beach Day

Walking on the sand

Blustery evening

 Summer?

 Santa Barbara...pier

West Coast Sunset!

My Beloved

Redwood

Golden Gate

 Pacific Ocean, San Francisco Bay

John and Mindy's Wedding

Jerusalem joy

 YES!

 Jaffa Gate!

And it has only begun. In 9 months I will be Mrs. Dosa!

Israel Entry One

We've been at camp since Sunday now. Three days. It is crazy how fast time is already flying. We are in Israel! The homeland of Jesus. Here at the camp though it feels like we are in Texas. Hot and dry. The camp is circled around a baseball field. Supposedly one of only three in all of Israel.

But when you know you are not in Texas when everyone around you is speaking a different language, when palm trees and vibrant bushes are in every patch of foliage and when the distant skyline of Tel Aviv is to the west. Electric trains go by ever hour. They are silent and short.

Today is our first full day of camp. It is going to be a long hot day of silly games, baseball, Popsicles and swimming. The children are the most beautiful little people I have ever seen. Most don't know english, but will talk to you anyway in their own beautiful Hebrew. Ever time I hear the language I can feel almost power in it. This is the language of God's chosen people!

We have a meeting right now to prepare for the day. So I should go. No one is ever on time here. They don't seem to need it, yet everything gets done. Incredible.

Later...

Almost there...

Three more days and I will be in the air for Israel! The summer has flown by much faster than I anticipated. All of my packing is nearly finished. I've been to Cape Hatteras and California and back, the Israel trip is paid for, travel insurance is paid for, my bags packed, (nearly) all last minute things have been bought or borrowed, and now I am finishing up my last few days of work.

I'm excited but nervous, I've never been out of the United States until now. I'm praying for the Lord to continue revealing his heart for me about his chosen people. I look forward to meeting the children the first wee and all the traveling we will be doing the second week. Jerusalem will be amazing!

It's almost here...