The Sword

The cliff walls rose steep and severe towards a bleak and colorless sky. A narrow, lifeless path curved a jagged opening between the cliffs. The rocks jutting from the cliffs pointed like threatening knives towards the earth. Dust swirled upward as gusts of wind blew through the path. It was a cold, clean wind blowing from the opening at the far end of the cliffs.

A thin trembling figure appeared at this opening. It was a young woman who was slowly placing one foot in front of another. Her clothing was new and washed. Her hair long and clean. Her sword bright and sharp. She was untouched by battle, yet deep, desperate knowledge glowed in her bright eyes. The questions in her mind were spinning.

Why was she here? What could she possibly do? Was this really her fight? Who had fallen to this trap? Not her. Surely there were bigger more vital battles to fight?

The voice of her father, however, rang in her ears, louder and clearer, the more her doubts assailed her. GO AND BRING MY PEOPLE BACK TO ME.

She could not turn around and leave now. Her fist clenched around the hilt of her sword. The leather dug into her palm. She closed her eyes. The dangers were real, the fear however was not true. There could be no fear when she held her sword. She was one against a hundred, but she had been given more strength than a thousand.

Her feet began moving forward, firm and defiant. Her enemies would not keep their victory today. Their temporary glory would fall to shame at their feet. She steeled her countenance, preparing herself for the sight she would see. Death was waiting on the path ahead.

The path turned as the cold wind propelled her feet forward. With it came a new smell. A stench, overwhelming and strong. The stench of a hundred dead bodies heaped against the sides of the path. Their mangled, bloody limbs were bent and twisted at odd angles. Faces blank and lifeless. Deep and gaping wounds glared angrily towards the sky.

The young woman caught her breath and one hand involuntarily covered her mouth. She had seen death before, but not to this magnitude. Doubt reared its ugly claws and clutched her heart in an iron grip. She knew what she had to do, but what if it didn't work? They were all already dead.

There was no but her enemies to see. They were invisible but she knew they were in the rocks hiding, waiting with baited, poisenous breath. What if she looked like a weak and powerless fool in their eyes?

Her sword began vibrating and then heat shot from its hilt to its tip. The physical reminder of the power she held brought tears to her eyes. This was going to be painful.

Sobbing, she began walking and reached the first pile of dead. Realization hit her chest like an avalanche. It nearly knocked her to her knees with its weight. These dead would never know freedom unless she moved in the power given to her. They would never know real life, real truth and unshakable faith unless she reached out to touch them.

She slowly raised her sword over the first body. Flames of heat began flickering off its shiny surface. How her hands could hold the sword without being burned she did not know.

Crying out the name of her father she brought the sword down into the center of the corpse's heart. Her gut lurched in agony as the dead one's anguish swept through her body. Her sword began trembling violently as the body broke into convulsions.

She withdrew the sword and the body, a man's, let out a shuddering gasp. Skin, bones, blood and sinews rippled back into place across his body. Both eyes popped open and he sat up with a deep gasp,

The young woman backed up, speechless. It worked! He smiled, reached for his sword and jumped to his feet," What are you waiting for?"

Still unable to speak she stared. She wasn't a fool!

" The others..." he turned, plunging his sword into the body that had been lying next to him, motioning her forward.

Strengthened and empowered the young woman leaped forward, sword still hot.

The truth had brought life. She murmured her father's name in gratitude and thankfulness. She was no longer alone. An army was rising at her feet.

Easter. Life. Sunsets

Returning home after weeks and weeks of back to back school, work and church activities, makes you appreciate the boredom and slowness of home. I was home for only two days, and I felt as if I stepped into paradise.

The weather was perfect, my mom's remodeled house was beautiful, and my boyfriend surprising me on saturday morning with his appearance was perfect. All eight of my cousins and siblings were there, and my uncle, two aunts and grandparents. It was a beautiful day.

And me and Phil went for a walk...

Maybe it's true...

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
You know this could be something
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

'Cause maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everythings okay
And finally now, we're leaving

And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

Yeah, yeah

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey

Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking

Oooh I can't live without you
'Cause baby two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And I've figured out with all that's said and done
Two, is better than one

Two is better than one

Copyright@boyslikegirls/taylorswift

4 months...

...my 22 birthday, Dec 11, 2009!

...camping at Kristen's.

...visiting Phil's family!

U2 Concert!

Nick and Kendra's wedding!

...state fair!

I am here now.

"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness and speak kindly to her. Then I will give her her vineyards from there, and the valley of Achor as a door of hope. And she will sing there as in the days of her youth, as in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt. It will come about in that day,' delcares the Lord,' that you will call Me Ishi and will no longer call Me Baali. For I will removed the names of the Baals from her mouth, so that they will be mentioned by their names no more. In that day I will also make a covenant for them, with the beasts of the field, the birds of the sky and the creeping things of the ground. And I will abolish the bow, the sword and war from the land, and will make them lie down in safety. I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in lovingkindness and in compassion, and I will betroth you to Me in faithfullness. Then you will know the Lord. It will come about in that day that I will respond,' delcares the Lord,' I will respond to the earth, and the earth will respond to the grain, to the new wine and to the oil, and they will respond to Jezreel. I will sow her for Myself in the land. I will also have compassion on her who had not obtain compassion. And I will say to those who were not My people, you are My people! And they will say 'You are my God!" ~ Hosea 2 ~

I approached the tent with heart full of numb desire. I had nothing to offer, nothing to give him. I did not want him. It had been weeks since I had been with him alone. In my mind I understood, that this, even this, even my apathy towards him, my coldness, would not diminish his desire for me. In my heart I felt a thousand miles away from this truth. I could not love him. Yet he loved me with an unbreakable steadfastness.

I stopped two feet from the tent. The night shadows flickered from the torches burning around this dwelling place. I smelled the sweet aroma of his presence drifting from inside. It did not entice me like it once had. It did not draw me to him. I wanted to run. I wanted to run back to garden he made for me. I wanted to run back to his gifts and his treasures and the wealth of his kingdom that he lavished with great generosity over me.

I loved that garden. It was satisfying. I understood, in my mind, this was because it all was from him. It is was meant to draw me to him. In my heart however, I only wanted to stay in the garden. It was just too full of pleasure to leave.

Yet, inside I was still empty. I did not feel empty. However, I knew I was, because I had not see him.

That was only reason my feet had taken me here. It was a choice, not a feeling. My trembling hand reached out to pull back the tent curtain. It was time to be with him again. It was time to let him fill me with satisfaction. I did not want it, but my will was dragging my reluctant feet forward.

I slipped inside, taking a deep breath. My head was screaming a thousands fears, my heart continued to beat evenly, numbly, without feeling. I saw him before he saw me, standing near his couch holding a book open in his strong hands. The candlelight gleamed off of his golden hair. I swallowed, suddenly awkward and frightened. I should turn and leave, now, before he saw me.

It was too late, he turned, fixing those burning blue eyes on my face. The book slipped from his hands as a smile brushed his lips. Then I was in his arms.

" I knew you would come," he whispered, kissing me softly. I weakly responded, unable to resist him, but still not wanting him like he wanted me.

" I'm sorry," I whispered back, trembling arms slowly entwining around his strong body.

He chuckled against my neck, and then pulled back to gaze into my face. I could see myself in

his eyes, and hated the relfection. I was not a the bride he deserved, or needed, or should want. I did not love him.

" Don't look at me like that, my love," he said against my lips," I don't care how long it has been, or how you feel or what you've done. I will never stop loving you."

I did the unthinkable and angrily shoved him away. Hurt clouded every radiant aspect of his beautiful face.

"Darling..."

My hand covered his lips and my words fell out of my mouth like a rushing torrent," Why did you give me everything? Why is everything so pleasant without you? Why can I not love you now? Why do I not want you? Tell me...you know everything, nothing is hidden from your eyes. Why give me the very things that turn my heart away from you? Was it not better when I had nothing? Was it not better in the desert when it was only you and me? Where have all my desires..."

I broke into bitter weeping unable to continue, and dropped my eyes from his. I immediately felt his hands cradling my face.

"Beloved, I don't want your love just in the desert. I want it at all times. I want it when you feel it and need it and when you don't. I want it when you have nothing and when you have everything. There are deeper places we have yet to go. Everything I have given you is to take you to those places. Open your eyes...look at me."

I slowly and stubbornly did. His eyes burned like fire into my soul.

"Listen to my words..." he kissed my lips,"...every time you let the music you hear calm your spirit and stir your heart, it's because it's drawing you to my peace and passion. Everytime your imagination and courage is inspired by a story you hear or see, it is because I am showing you pieces of my heart. Every time your friends make your heart glad and free, it is because I am showing you the freedom of my presence."

I sucked in a breath, feeling a tightening my chest for the first time since walking in the tent. He had not mentioned the deepest part yet...

I waited.

He picked me up softly and carried me to his couch. I closed my eyes against his chest. I could feel the pressure, the expectation, the waiting....

He sat us both down, nestling me in his lap.

"Beloved..." his lips brushed my cheek, arms tightened around me with possessive strength.

"Every time he holds you, kisses you and speaks love to you, it is all coming from me. I want you to know how you've captured my heart. When you are heart pounds with desire for him, it is because it is desiring me. When you long for him surround you with safety, it is because you are longing for my safety. When you heart is screaming for his kisses and his touches, it is because you want my touch. When you dream of him at night holding you forever, it is because you want me to hold you forever."

I broke into sobs as he ended these words. They were all true.

"He is becoming everything to me. He is satisfying," I choked out.

"That is because I am everything," he whispered," I am satisfying."

I buried my face into his neck and my heart exploded with a thousand emotions. I was in my king's arms again. He was holding me. Wanting me.

"What do I do," I whispered against his lips.

"Enjoy me, come to me, let me show you my heart in this," the thick aroma of his presence and smell, consumed the room. He was drawing my heart again.

"I'm here now," I said weakly.

"And so I will love you..." his lips overwhelmed mine.

Welcome to Our World

This is a beautiful song...

Tears are falling, hearts are breaking
How we need to hear from God
You've been promised, we've been waiting

Welcome Holy Child
Welcome Holy Child

Hope that you don't mind our manger
How I wish we would have known
But long-awaited Holy Stranger
Make Yourself at home
Please make Yourself at home
Bring Your peace into our violence
Bid our hungry souls be filled
Word now breaking Heaven's silence

Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world

Fragile finger sent to heal us
Tender brow prepared for thorn
Tiny heart whose blood will save us
Unto us is born
Unto us is born
So wrap our injured flesh around You
Breathe our air and walk our sod
Rob our sin and make us holy

Perfect Son of God
Perfect Son of God
Welcome to our world

(Chris Rice)

He spoke kindly to Her...

This is something I started writing the beginning of this semester. The woman in the story is the Church, the man is Jesus. The unborn baby represents the generations to come. Read it from that viewpoint...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The young woman stared at him angrily, with blue eyes that could have scorched a cornfield. He was taken back by her hostility, distrust yes, but not this.

He took a step farther back, kneeling on one knee, as she curled into a tighter protective ball around her swollen belly.

"I promise I won't hurt you, or the baby," he told her softly.

She began crying again, obviously unable to believe his kindness or so overcome by it she couldn't speak. He waited patiently, until her eyes turned towards his again. They were still hostile, but not quite has distrustful as before.

"What happened?" he asked, continuing to be patient.

She slowly sat up, painfully, as if every bone in her body was aching. Bruises covered her cheekbones, and a huge cut marred the right side of her neck. With great effort she began to speak.

" I have no mother, I have no father. The child I bear is not even my husband's. I have no husband. I have no home. I have nothing to call my own. Everything I have has been given to me or taken away by others. Why do you even care to ask me? Can you not see what I am?"

The young man's heart was torn by the despair and absolute finality he felt in her voice. What was even worse was the belief he heard in her words.

Suddenly she doubled over, throwing up all over the ground between them. His first reaction would have been one of disgust, but immediately his vision blurred in a cloud of color. Handwritten words the color of blood on an ancient pages burst before his eyes.

He blinked, trying to see, but they would not leave until he read them.

You will love me.

You will love what I love. Hate what I hate. Speak what I speak. Sing what I sing.

You will love my bride.

As soon as he finished reading the last line, the words and colors vanished and he was staring at the young woman once more.

The young man felt his heart melt. He wanted to bury his head in the dust and beg this woman's forgiveness for all the injustice that had been done to her, for all the lies, bitterness and hatred that had been brought against her with the fierceness of a thousand vengeful dragons. If he could bleed, cry and scream for her, he would.

Instead he bent closer once more," I know you have no reason to trust me, but what if I was your only hope? I cannot be worse than what you have known. What if I have the answer? Can you be willing to risk that?"

She blinked, staring wide-eyed without expression, yet the mistrust had faded from her gaze.

"It may take a while, I know," he continued," but I must tell you that this is not who you are."

"Who are you to tell me such a thing?" she told him, voice sharp and cynical," You don't know me."

Now it was his turn to blink," I know more about you than you may think."

She did not seem to like this answer.

He continued talking ignoring her conflicting attitude.

"This baby your carrying for example. She is not a curse, but a blessing. Do not give birth with heart that only feels derision and frustration at her conception. She is life. In that you must find hope and destiny."

The woman stared at him like he had absolutely lost his mind.

"How do you know it's a girl?"

He shrugged, and held out his hand," Are you going to stand up or not?"

She very slowly reached and slipped her hand into his. He pulled her up, steadying her unstable legs and then slowly turning her towards the river.

"I think you need to drink from the water, before we go anywhere."

She began trembling, and turned her face, against him as if the river had eyes that haunted her.

"What's wrong?" he lifted her face, to see her eyes.

"I don't want to go there."

"Why not?"

"The more I drink, the more thirsty I get. I hate being thirsty."

He stared at her, bewildered.

"With that kind of attitude, you will always be thirsty. You must drink if you will ever find satisfaction."

She glared at him," You don't think I've tried. It's hopeless."

He let go of her hand," How far did you go?"

She blinked," What do you mean?"

He repeated the question.

She shook her head, beginning to cry," It hurt too much."

He gently pushed her ahead of him," I'll go with you. We'll drink together."

She didn't want to go. But with him pushing her, giving her no choice, the young woman slowly walked forward.

They reached the water's edge. She stared down at it like the water's held a nest of poisonous snakes.

He took her hand and knelt first, drawing her after him. He cupped on hand into the cool wetness and brought it to his lips.

"You try," he released her hand, letting it be her choice.

If a shark had just jumped out of the water at her, she could not have looked more frightened. Very slowly she stretched out shaky fingers towards the water. Her gaze shot to him, seeking courage.

" You can do it," he encouraged.

Trembling, she plunged her hand into the water and brought it dripping to her sunburned lips. She swallowed it with a groan, and dropped her hand into the water for more.

"Go as slow as you need to," he told her.

She only leaned closer to the water in response. In fact she began to drink greedily. He reached a hand out to steady her from falling into the river.

Then suddenly she sat back, face wet, glistening, but suddenly beautiful, calm and peaceful. Cuts and bruises had disappeared.

"Where does the water come from?" she asked in a whisper.

He chuckled, rocking back on his heels beside her.

"Do you want to find out?"

She nodded, he stood, giving her his hand. She awkwardly held her belly and rose, leaning against him.

"Then follow me..."